Forever
by TheDynastyGirl
Summary: An Esme / Carlisle story based on the hours following the birth of Renesmee Cullen. Carlisle tries to deal with all of the emotions that the day has brought.


**Hello there, welcome to my first Carlisle / Esme fanfiction. I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think. This is the first published story for me in maybe like 2 years so hopefully I'm not too rusty. :)**

* * *

"Such a pretty little girl,"  
Carlisle smiled as he heard his wife gushing over their brand new granddaughter – Renesmee – and he gently placed his book down on his desk. Getting up, he made his way upstairs and followed his wife's scent to her own study. The door was open so the patriarch of the Cullen family leant up against the doorframe as he stared at the sight before him. To him, it was absolutely perfect and it allowed a rush of emotions to hit him all at once, something that rarely happened for the always in-control Doctor.

* * *

The first emotion Carlisle felt was pride. He was so proud to see his beautiful wife standing here, and he could almost feel the pride radiating from her as she held her grandchild. He couldn't help but feel proud too. Edward, Alice and Rosalie didn't realise how hard it was going to be for them during the birthing process, but all three of his children had done beautifully. Especially Rosalie, whom he was told was the first to slightly lose control of her thirst. He was so proud of his sweet Rose. He was also proud of Alice and Jasper, standing with Edward as they tried to defend their family against the Quileutes, being severely outnumbered in doing so. With so much blood just everywhere inside the house behind them, they had managed to also control their thirst and focus on what was the most important thing at that time.

Protecting Renesmee.

* * *

Carlisle couldn't help but feel proud at the family he had, the family he had made. All of them had been so brave tonight. He was proud of Esme, who had managed to remain calm and control of herself even when being faced by two of the wolves ordered to kill her. Carlisle was also proud of Emmett – not to mention thankful also – as he had protected his Mother, allowing Esme to have time to escape. Of all his children though, Carlisle was incredibly proud of Edward. Proud to know that his son had managed to start the change for his wife with only seconds to spare. He could only imagine the amount of stress and heartache Edward would have been under and he didn't want to think of his son feeling tormented like that. He was proud to think how well his _son_ had performed tonight in terrifying circumstances.

The next two emotions that slipped through side-by-side – caused by staring at his wife and granddaughter – were sadness and regret followed closely by a sense of longing. Carlisle had always known that he wanted to have Esme with him forever. She was his mate, he knew that he would rather die than not have her in his life. However, seeing her in front of him with their granddaughter, he saw that Esme was a natural at mothering. Longing was quickly joined with sadness and regret… Esme could have had all of this. She _wanted_ all of this. And it was something that Carlisle couldn't provide her. He _couldn't_ give her children of her own. How could she accept that? Right here, right now, Carlisle wished more than anything that they could have little children of their own. Blonde haired little Princesses with huge doe eyes they inherited from their Mommy. Or maybe little brunette baby boys, running around with grins like his own. It was almost heartbreaking to have to accept that he could never give her that.

Ever.

* * *

The longing, sadness and regret slowly disappeared to the background as Carlisle watched Esme gently run her finger down baby Renesmee's nose. He could see the joy all over his wife's face as she studied Renesmee's features, memorising every tiny detail. It was obvious that Esme was already in love with the newest member of the Cullen's and he couldn't wait to experience that for himself. This was something none of them had expected yet Carlisle knew that it would be the most welcomed change for their family. After all the doubts while Bella was pregnant, to see that Renesmee was nothing but a sweet, happy, innocent little baby was more than a relief. Esme loved their little granddaughter already, there was no doubt about that and Carlisle could almost feel himself fill with love at that thought. If Esme loved her, there was no doubt Carlisle would too. Carlisle was too caught up in his own thoughts to realise that his wife had turned and spotted him watching her.

"Hey there Grandpa," Esme said with a small smile, gaining Carlisle's attention.  
"Hello there beautiful Nana," Carlisle replied, stepping forward awkwardly.  
"Come closer, she won't hurt you," Esme whispered softly. Carlisle made his way over to his wife and finally enveloped Esme into his arms from behind. He sighed in comfort as he breathed her in and Esme relaxed into him as she always did and always would.  
"Isn't she beautiful?" Esme cooed, looking up at Carlisle with a huge smile. This time Carlisle focused on Renesmee's face, the perfect combination of Edward and Bella. Bella's eyes, Edward's hair. Bella's nose, Edward's serious expression.  
"She's absolutely perfect. Just like the woman holding her," Carlisle whispered. Esme giggled and lifted her up to gently rub her nose with Renesmee's tiny one. Carlisle watched the moment and his bright smile quickly turned to a frown when he saw Renesmee's hand reach up and touch Esme's cheek, causing Esme to freeze.  
"Sweetheart?" Carlisle asked worriedly. Finally, Esme's head popped up and she spun around looking at Carlisle.  
"What's wrong, what is it?" Carlisle said.  
"Renesmee… she showed me Bella," Esme said, her eyes staring down at the baby in amazement.  
"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked with a frown. Esme gently placed Renesmee in his arms and grabbed her tiny hand, lifting it to his cheek. Carlisle froze too, as thoughts of Bella entered his mind. These were not memories Carlisle had experienced however… these were Renesmee's memories. Carlisle stared down at the little girl in wonder before looking back at Esme, wrapping his free arm around her and pulling her to him once more. He couldn't bear to have her away from him for another minute.  
"A beautiful gift for such a beautiful little girl. Can you show me something else sweet Renesmee?" Carlisle said gently, as Esme placed the tiny hand on his cheek once more. Memories flashed through his mind of the other members of his family – Rosalie appearing the most – but they ended with Esme, her bright smile – showing off both her dimples – and a gentle cooing sound escaping her lips. Carlisle felt Renesmee's hand drop and he smiled down at Esme.  
"What did she show you?" Esme asked with a smile.  
"The family, she adores Rosalie… and you," Carlisle said with a whisper. Esme beamed at him before turning back to Renesmee.  
"We adore you too sweet girl. Even Grandpa. I reckon if we could cry right now, that's exactly what he would be doing," Esme whispered. Carlisle smiled and leant over to press his lips against Esme's temple.  
"I think you are exactly right," Carlisle murmured.

* * *

"Where is Edward?" Esme asked.  
"I'm here Mom," Edward said from the doorway. Carlisle gently lifted Esme up and spun her around so they were both facing him.  
"Come here my darling boy," Esme said, motioning Edward over. He came walking over hesitantly and Esme gently passed Renesmee to Carlisle so she could wrap her arms around his neck tightly.  
"I love you so much Edward. You did so well tonight and I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it was for you," She whispered.  
"I love you too Mom. I love you so much," Edward admitted. Carlisle couldn't help but smile at the scene before him before some irritated noises from the sweet little girl in his arms caught his attention. Looking down, he saw her staring over at Edward with what seemed to be a disgruntled expression on her perfect little face.  
"I think someone wants her Daddy," Carlisle whispered. Edward walked over to him and Carlisle placed Renesmee in his arms.  
"We'll give you time to bond, congratulations my son," Carlisle said, taking Esme's hand and starting to pull her out of the room.  
"Carlisle," Edward called out, causing Carlisle to turn back to look at him.  
"I wouldn't have been able to do any of this, _have_ any of this… if it wasn't for you. Thank you. I am so very proud to call you and Esme my parents," Edward said. Carlisle smiled at his son, pride filling him again.  
"Just as we are proud to have you as our son," Carlisle said, before allowing Esme to gently drag him down the hallway to their bedroom.

"Today has definitely been an interesting one," Esme said, immediately cuddling into Carlisle.  
"You are right about that my love. Before we talk however, I need to do something," Carlisle said. Esme looked up at him questioningly just in time for him to press his lips against hers in a deep kiss. Carlisle couldn't help but express his emotions anymore. He had tried so hard to keep control of them but now all he could think of was holding his wife, kissing her, protecting her… letting Esme know how much he loved her. Esme's hands ran up into his dishevelled hair and gently gripped onto it. Carlisle knew that she needed this almost as much as he did. Pulling back, Carlisle took a deep breath and rested his forehead on his wife's.  
"I am so in love with you Esme Cullen," He sighed happily, causing Esme to giggle.  
"As I am with you Carlisle," She replied. Esme went to pull away but Carlisle refused to let her.  
"Just let me hold you darling," Carlisle said.

* * *

"Carlisle, you'll have to let me go soon," Esme breathed.  
"Sweetheart, just indulge me for a little while hmm?" Carlisle whispered, nuzzling his nose against her brunette hair.  
"Are you okay?" Esme asked. Carlisle didn't answer as he just breathed her in.  
"Carlisle," Esme murmured, running her small hand up around the curve of his elbow and resting it gently on his bicep. Carlisle didn't answer her, instead deciding to push her hair to one side of her head, giving him easy access to her neck and earlobe. He immediately started pressing soft kisses to the visible skin, allowing his tongue to occasionally flick out and taste her. Esme sighed, pressing her lips together and allowing her husband to tease her with his soft kisses.  
"Quit trying to distract me Doctor Cullen," She huffed out. Carlisle smirked against her skin and sucked the bottom of her earlobe into his mouth. Esme gasped at his forwardness and finally managed to control herself enough to gently pull herself away.  
"As much as I love this, I don't think we can do this right now," Esme whispered breathlessly. Carlisle hummed slightly and looked down at his feet. Finally, Carlisle looked up at her and he saw her eyes register the pain and recognition on his face.  
"My darling, please tell me what is bothering you right now," Esme said. Carlisle nodded his head and made his way over to the bed, sitting down on it. Esme flitted to his side and then quickly climbed into his lap. Carlisle wrapped his arms around Esme and held onto her for dear life, like she was going to leave at any second.

"I almost lost you today," Carlisle finally mumbled when he was feeling brave enough. He never really explained much to his wife and he knew that right now, that was all she wanted him to do. Open up to her. Esme looked up at him and waited for him to continue.  
"I… to see you there, with those wolves about to attack you… I just, I couldn't tell you how terrified I was. If Emmett wasn't there, I… I don't know what I would've done. I wouldn't have gotten to you in time my love, I was too far away. I'm sorry that I wasn't by your side to protect you," Carlisle murmured. Esme sighed and cupped his face with both her hands.  
"You didn't lose me though my love. Of course the possibility was there but we both knew that before we went out to hunt. I'm sorry that you had to witness that, or that you even had to toy with the idea of losing me. I love you," Esme whispered, before pressing her lips against his softly. She then placed little kisses all over his face, murmuring repeated assurances of her love sporadically before pressing her lips against his a final time. Carlisle went to say something when she pulled back from him but she gently cut him off.  
"So don't think about the 'what if's' of today my darling. I am here, you are here and every single member of our family is here. Those are pretty astounding odds and you know it," Esme said, giving Carlisle her large smile and allowing him to see her stunning dimples that he loved so much. He nodded and Esme rewarded him with another kiss before hopping off his lap and heading over to their dresser.

* * *

"How do you always do that?" Carlisle asked, as he stood to unbutton his shirt before letting it just fall to the floor around him.  
"Do what?" Esme asked innocently, turning around to look at him with her wide eyes. Carlisle recognised the teasing glint in them and he raised his eyebrows. Within an instant he was behind her and he wrapped his arms firmly around her stomach.  
"Know how to make me feel better, even sometimes to the extent of making me feel silly for thinking a certain way in the first place?" Carlisle asked.  
"Isn't that the job of a wife, Doctor Cullen?" Esme said, running her hands over the top of his.  
"Hmm, I guess so," Carlisle said, dropping a kiss in her hair.  
"All I want to do tonight is have you hold me in your arms. I think that will probably comfort both of us, would that be correct?" Esme asked, looking at her husband through the mirror rested on their dresser. Carlisle nodded simply and Esme offered him his favourite smile as a reward. Of all the smiles his beautiful wife could offer, this one was reserved just for him. A smile of love that lit her entire face up, her golden eyes shining as they stared into the reflection of his. He finally took a step back and allowed Esme to be free of his arms.

"It still feels unbelievable to me that you chose me to spend the rest of your life with," Esme whispered.  
"It still feels unbelievable to me that you chose to accept that," Carlisle said with a grin. Esme giggled and shrugged her shoulders.  
"That's because you've never been able to comprehend how much I truly, sincerely love you," Esme replied.  
"Will you love me like that forever?" Carlisle asked, dropping back on the bed and looking up at the rooftop. He would like to say that as a Vampire he never got exhausted but the fast-paced changes of emotions that had gone through him today – something he normally never had affect him – he felt mentally exhausted. Next thing he knew, his eyes met his wife's again as she leaned over the top of him, placing a gentle kiss upon the tip of his nose.  
"Forever," She breathed, before capturing his lips once again.

* * *

 **So there is my first Carlisle / Esme story ever published. Let me know what you think and if you'd like me to do a Fanfic about anything / anyone else :)**


End file.
